Thoughts on Dating Someone with a kia

By Nala Washington

1. Don’t

2. He tells me on the second date, which happens to be in a parked car, eleven at night, what he called “deep”, “creative”, “all we need is each other”, and other phrases constantly used to distract from the lack of effort. He says he loves me. All I heard was “I’m going to tell you what you want to hear”.

3. I look at the moon to distract myself as he enters me, coerced. It was pretty from the window.

4. I was left alone a lot. When he pumped gas, he used to leave me alone. I searched his car consistently; for my thongs. For other girls' names. For a yes.

5. He is an alcoholic. He breathes on me constantly, tipsy, called me his vodka and tries to sip from my breasts after hearing “no” multiple times. Liquor makes me sick. He mistaken me for AA. He drives the car faster after he’s done.

6. When we argued, he pressed his foot down on the gas. I couldn’t hear his yelling over my thoughts racing, hoping he didn’t crash.

7. He told me driving brought him peace. Apparently so did I. Why do I always feel at war when I am around him.

8. He insists on going to see his ex to get his clothes back. I insist on buying him new ones as we drive to her house. He declines my offer and says I want what was mine. He hands me the clothes she once owned from him and tells me to wear them. I think he liked to replace my face with hers and still get high off her scent.

9. I encourage him to attend therapy. He rebuttals, thats what you’re for. I search the backseat for a Ph.D, a license, a God.

10. I close the car door. I tell him I wished he loved himself more than me. He says who will love him then? And isn’t this the most obvious metaphor?